So I've been falling a lot lately.
Well falling figuratively and literally.
I have been super hard on myself recently.
Thinking that I am not good enough that I need to try ten times harder to achieve something when I am already doing my best.
I have been telling myself that eventually I will stop being so hard on myself and it seems each time I tell myself that I will lighten up I just get more stressed out and afraid that I am going to fall down (figuratively) or that I am going to fail.
What's even funnier is it comes in waves of ups and downs...one day I am so happy to be who I am and then there are other days where I feel not good enough and as though I am in my own life as a stranger who is trying to manipulate and mess up certain parts of what's going good in my life.
I have been jumping to irrational conclusions but for what? Trying to find something wrong with what is good. Like the good is a trick so that I fall harder.
However, I have successfully (almost) completed 16 hours of classes...SIXTEEN! I believed in myself, my family believed in me, and my friends supported me.
I did something that I thought I would not be able to complete and I did it!
I have been doing things to better myself and figure out more of who I am. I am being the person I have wanted to be (minus the times where I give myself an unrealistic hard time).
And that in itself is an accomplishment.
So getting to the falling literally.
I don't think I ever truly wrote about my ACL surgery that I had back in December.
It was a long time coming.
So anyways, I had the surgery and then recovered fairly well. It was defiantly a roller coaster ride I don't remember alot but then I do remember things (like I was an emotional roller coaster due to pain meds and just an all around struggle and also a struggle that bettered me)
However, two weeks (about) ago I fell down, hard. With out my knee brace on at school. Spilled two venti caramel macchiatos all over my butt which was just not attractive, a skinned knee, and a slightly embarrassed me because well for one it happened at school and two I cried in front of this macho cop.
So I took the right steps, I got the MRI today. And I find out Wednesday if I have to have surgery....again.
However I did find out I can get a different color brace so that way I don't look like my leg is a giant zebra (obviously the most important part of my knee surgery recovery)
So whether I fell figuratively or literally I am getting back up and dusting my self up and isn't that what is most important?
Keep Calm and Carry On.
xox
Melissa
"So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground" -Oprah Winfrey
London Bridges Falling Down.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
#1. So if you haven't listened to Bastille, you are missing out they are fabulous and the lead singer has a voice that will make you want to marry him (I am not kidding). They sound good live or in studio. They are by far my biggest obsession at the moment.
Dan smith the lead singer might as well marry me now.
If you check them out...you won't be disappointed!
#2. Fentimans Rose Lemonade with a hint of ginger...oh my goodness this is an amazing afternoon pick me up! It is going in a cooler for my longer days when I have classes.
#3. The skinny hazelnut macchiato: This little something is a good morning starter it is newer and basically the same as a Caramel macchiato however it has a delicious hazelnut topping. Trust me when I say it's like a little bit of heaven in a cup.
#4. Anchors, Anchors, Anchors. I can not get enough of these lovlies and with summer right around the corner I am ready to break out my anchor bathing suite and get to tanning. Bring on the pool days and cold drinks!
xoxo
Keep Calm and Carry On!
Melissa
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Sometimes I think...I am too boring, too serious or, too scared.
Then there are other times I think I am too adventurous, too loud, or too goofy.
Sometimes, I wonder what people think of me.
If they think I am pretty, ugly, shy, outgoing, too loud, too serious. ect.
However what has dawned on me is it does not matter what anyone thinks of me.
If I waste my time worrying about what other people think of me...I am going to be miserable. I am going to be giving myself poison.
Don't worry about things or people you can not change.
While they seem important, their views on you are not more important than your own.
I have been told over and over that attitude is everything.
And it's true.
If you are walking around on a rainy day and you forgot your umbrella, you don't have on appropriate rain shoes, your hair is now a mess, and you are late to class or work.
All of these things seem pretty sucky....and they are.
However one drop of positive can change your entire day.
It only takes one positive thought to turn around the rest of your day.
If you are constantly down on yourself...or telling yourself that you can not do something. It's basically already set up for you to be miserable and most likely one big debbie downer.
I can attest to this.
Recently I have been in a Science/Lab class that is royally kicking my butt.
I have spent hour upon hour on this class.
And my results were not showing through in my exam grades...each grade I got back I became more negative towards the class, and even towards myself.
I would dread the class work, I would tell myself I could not do it.
Then I hit the final straw when I was taking a lab test and I noticed that not only was the test really hard but I was making it harder than it needed to be, and I was miserable.
I was beating myself up so much about these classes I forgot an important factor to success which is to have fun.
I was focusing so much on the grade and not enough on the learning.
So I started a new attitude from the point I turned that test in.
I am making the class more of an adventure and less of a struggle.
It's like not doing laundry for a couple of weeks....then you have loads to do...so you make it into a basketball game so its a little more fun and when you fold it you have a ten min dance party. It's not about the task itself its the attitude you give to the task
Have fun with things. The only person who can define you is you what anyone else thinks or says doesn't matter because they are not you!
Keep Calm and Carry on!
Melissa
Then there are other times I think I am too adventurous, too loud, or too goofy.
Sometimes, I wonder what people think of me.
If they think I am pretty, ugly, shy, outgoing, too loud, too serious. ect.
However what has dawned on me is it does not matter what anyone thinks of me.
If I waste my time worrying about what other people think of me...I am going to be miserable. I am going to be giving myself poison.
Don't worry about things or people you can not change.
While they seem important, their views on you are not more important than your own.
I have been told over and over that attitude is everything.
And it's true.
If you are walking around on a rainy day and you forgot your umbrella, you don't have on appropriate rain shoes, your hair is now a mess, and you are late to class or work.
All of these things seem pretty sucky....and they are.
However one drop of positive can change your entire day.
It only takes one positive thought to turn around the rest of your day.
If you are constantly down on yourself...or telling yourself that you can not do something. It's basically already set up for you to be miserable and most likely one big debbie downer.
I can attest to this.
Recently I have been in a Science/Lab class that is royally kicking my butt.
I have spent hour upon hour on this class.
And my results were not showing through in my exam grades...each grade I got back I became more negative towards the class, and even towards myself.
I would dread the class work, I would tell myself I could not do it.
Then I hit the final straw when I was taking a lab test and I noticed that not only was the test really hard but I was making it harder than it needed to be, and I was miserable.
I was beating myself up so much about these classes I forgot an important factor to success which is to have fun.
I was focusing so much on the grade and not enough on the learning.
So I started a new attitude from the point I turned that test in.
I am making the class more of an adventure and less of a struggle.
It's like not doing laundry for a couple of weeks....then you have loads to do...so you make it into a basketball game so its a little more fun and when you fold it you have a ten min dance party. It's not about the task itself its the attitude you give to the task
Have fun with things. The only person who can define you is you what anyone else thinks or says doesn't matter because they are not you!
Keep Calm and Carry on!
Melissa
