Under Pressure...

Friday, May 24, 2013

So the past couple of weeks I feel this pressure to figure out exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Where I want to end up when I graduate.
I feel pressure not only from within myself but from people surrounding me.
I am almost positive that I know what I want to do with life, I am confident with myself however there are decisions, choices, lists, and fears of what is to come.
I catch myself waking up in the morning making a list of all the things I should get done for the day.
I feel like I should be able to figure this out in a weeks time.
I fell like I should know exactly what I want to do.....right now. Like. Right. Now. Not in a month or a year but now.
I feel like there is this pressure for me to make up my mind, am I sure I want to keep my major, do I want to switch my major? Do I want to stay in Atlanta....do I want to move somewhere when  I graduate.
When I graduate will I be able to find a job?
I feel like one of those girls who are planning out their wedding and their life with a guy they just met. I feel like I am entering a slippery slope of what-ifs.
What-ifs are one of the most dangerous things. They can cause you to second guess. They are a bit like candy...or a bag of chips once you have one what if there are about 15+ if not more that come after it.

I also feel pressure to just know everything, and not everything scholastically but in regards to life. It's a maze that I yet have not been able to figure out. I am always unsure of what life entails next for me. And somethings that scares me...majorly. I like to be one....or ten steps ahead. So To not know whats coming next and feeling the pressure to figure it out can be a bit overwhelming.

However I don't know that I have to have it figured all out right now, I think thats the joy and magic of life you never know what turns and twists life is going to take.
You just have to jump on the crazy ride and see what twists and turns life gives. You never know truly where you are going to end up, so enjoy life and try to do what you love...I am guessing thats what really makes the difference.

Do you feel pressure to have it all figured out?  What do you do to realize you don't have to have it all figured out right now?

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.

-Peter Marshall 

Keep Calm and Carry On.

A Greater Reward Comes From a Greater Risk.

Risks...there are levels of risks that you can take. You can take a small risk however usually in return you will receive a small reward.

Sometimes you just have to jump off of the cliff and pray that all turns out okay.
Sometimes you have to have faith in yourself that at the end of the day you made the right decision.
Whether the risk be illegal like speeding and getting a ticket.
Maybe its a really good risk like going out on a date with this guy you have had your eye on but you're really nervous.
I have been taking risks recently, I have been trying to see what life is really about.
..Not that I will ever figure that out anyways. However, it's a good dream that one day I will know what this whole life thing is really about.

Sometimes risks cause us to fall down, we fall hard. And we learn something from the reward. We learn as we fall we have to get back up...and in the process of getting back up we are able to learn more about life, we are able to become stronger people.

An example from my life recently was wondering if I should take this internship that was a gift practically. I was weighing all of my pros and cons and in the end there were more pros than cons...of course the cons were evident and they were kind of a bummer...however the risk was going to provide me with a greater reward which was I was going to be able to take two steps forward after I finished the internship. And I would be bettering myself. It seemed in the end like the perfect opportunity. Of course at the time it was up in the air whether or not I'd get the internship. I still had to go through the interview process.

I prepared for the interview, found out as much about the company as I could, picked out the perfect outfit, had two practice interviews with friends. I made sure I was ready, and I was nervous, oh yes, I was very nervous but I was also prepared and confident. What an odd combination of emotions when you think about it, however it made sense to me.

At the end of the day...I got the internship, the risk was great but the reward was just as great. I could not be happier. I took a risk that I was unsure of, I made different plans, I changed my views and I took the risk.
I could not be happier with my decision. While there will always be cons....at the end of the day the pros outweigh the cons.

So take risks, jump off of a hypothetical mountain and see where you land, sometimes the risks are what better us as people.

Do you take risks? Have you had good and bad risks?

Keep Calm and Carry On

Food For Thought

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

"When I was in elementary school, I was pretty sure that eighth grade meant adulthood. The eighth graders were the oldest kids in the school, and their classroom was down a long hallway. I pictured the hallway as a golden path to the future. I was sure the eighth graders had it all figured out. Later, I extended that to the high school seniors, then the college seniors, then, people who were 25. Now, finally, I can see that there is no moment in life when it all makes sense. Nor is there any real marker that someone DOES know what the fuck's going on -- an engagement or a house does not mean that someone feels complete and content. At 27, I can talk to my parents and see that while they've done a lot of amazing things with their lives, there are still doubts and insecurities that they're holding on to and trying to make sense of. Answers don't come with age. Age provides perspective, but life wasn't designed with a point at which it definitively gets easier. It's up and down, all the time for everyone. We're just doing our best, all of us, and that's ok."
--Five Things I Know at 27 

Just because it has a title does not mean its true.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Relationships are not so easily defined but through out our life they start to mean different things:
If you were to ask 16 year old me what a relationship was all about I'd tell you that it's just supposed to be the frills, and going to movies with someone and being able to say oh look that's my boyfriend. 
as if I was merely searching for a title.
However, a relationship is like finding the ray of sunshine at the end of a very dark tunnel.
In order to have a successful relationship you have to love your self....like really love yourself not just say you do. I know I used to say of course I love myself! But then I'd find something wrong with me, my hair, my personality, ect. It was like there was a lack of acceptance.
Then one day it was practically magic, I realized I loved all the little things about myself and that they made me unique and sure I am a bit of a workaholic, sure I am quirky, but I accept and love those things about myself.
This is my step one to finding and maintaining a successful relationship.
The second is finding someone who is my best friend and my boyfriend.
Sometimes people are looking for the title, the status what ever you want to call it. Yeah it's nice to have, but at the end of the day there has to be friendship, someone who knows that you don't like it when someone puts their phone in their bra like its a pouch, come on ladies lets have some class. Your phone stays in your hand, in a purse or in your jeans back pocket...but your bra...come on! He needs to be able to watch a show with you and just be. It's not about the title its about the team effort and the companionship. It's about being able to sit in complete silence and not feel uncomfortable.
The title is merely a title, that's like taking on the CEO of a company for the title and not doing any work to get there or while maintaining your very high position in a company.
You can't just sit around being CEO of a company there is work that comes with this "title".
Which is why a relationship is work not just a title.

"The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends" -- B.R. Ambedkar

Are you in a relationship? Are you guys best friends and a couple? Just things to think about. Or if you aren't in a relationship what do you want out of one what do they mean to you?

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Thats two minuets for roughing: Hockey playoffs are here!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

So for all you girls who may have grown up in the south or for you girls who live in the north and know nothing about hockey...Let's get something straight. Sure, there is football, baseball, soccer, but the sport that really matters is hockey! 
The hockey playoffs are in full bloom and let me tell you --they are taking twists and turns and there is nothing more exciting than watching two teams compete to get to the hardest sports award to earn the Stanley Cup. 

If you know nothing about the sport...I'll break it down for you: There are five men on the ice, and they fight, they hit a puck and they try to get it into the net. However if that sounds boring to you..Take a look at some of my all time favorite hockey players, they'll have you ready to watch the playoffs. And have you wanting to maybe (possibly marry one)...A girl can dream right...They clean up nice too!

Hockey is the one sport, I get into with passion, I yell at the TV, I scream when my favorite team (the Chicago Blackhawks) make a goal, hockey can be a bit of a emotional roller coaster when you get really into it because the game is not over until the final buzzer sounds. Players make goals with 5seconds left on the clock and tie up the game.
The playoffs have been exciting, the second round has me nervous excited and ready to watch all the hockey I can.
Try it out! See if you like it! And if you don't like it...keep in mind there are really good looking guys who clean up really well!
Keep Calm and Hockey On!
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Losing it

I know I have mentioned that I have been losing weight for the past 6 weeks and traveling down a new path of healthy.
If you have ever tried dieting, it can be difficult, because lets face it..you crave the good stuff, the chocolate, the cupcakes, the not so diet soda, the macaroni and cheese, and okay okay! I'll stop!
But over the past 7 weeks that I have lost about 17 pounds I have not stopped eating the good stuff.
I just eat it in moderation, and I get back on track to my healthy life style choice.
I have noticed that when I crave cake, I am better off eating it, and enjoying it...Than feeling guilty that I ate it, and then eat more cake..because its not that once slice of cake that makes me gain weight....its the other cake slice I eat after that, then the burger, then the cheesecake, then the goldfish. It's a build up.
Once slice of cake or one bowl of Mac & Cheese won't cause 10 pounds of weight gain.
I have not given up what I like...I still drink Starbucks every day...obviously the important factor to all of this.

I have made lifestyle changes....I have found that I eat healthier on auto pilot, some days I don't even think about the bad stuff. But I think one reason I don't have such crazy cravings is because when I want something I just eat it, and jump right back on track....the guilt is not there because I enjoyed it.

I work out on a every other day basis....even when I would much rather watch TV and sit.
I have noticed since I started losing the weight and making different habits, I have been happier, I've had more energy, and my self confidence has sky rocketed.

Here are some of the things that I have been doing:
  • recording everything I eat
  • I take Saturdays off and I eat whatever the heck I want...that burger with the bun and the cheese and the fries...YUM! 
  • I work out and listen to pumped up music. 
  • I think of my bathing suit. 
  • whenever I get discouraged I tell myself this is a lifestyle change, not just something that I am changing temporarily and realizing that I will be healthier as I get older. 
  • I eat every two...ish hours. 
  • And whenever I want to quit I look at the picture  I took when I first started and realize that I don't want to look like that again.
It's never too late to start something to change your life that's what I've started to realize. 
So eat that cupcake or that mac and cheese, then just hop right back on track! 
Its a lifestyle change not a month change.
"Progress is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything" George Bernard Shaw
Keep calm and shed those pounds! 

Summer time is right around the corner.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

So with summer time right around the corner most of you girls most likely have a check list of all of the little things you'd like to get done before you hit the beach or the pool
For example
You may want to lose those extra couple pounds you put on during the (extended) holiday season.
You may want to get a couple new bathing suites.
You may just want to go to happy hour at all the bars in your sundress and chat it up with whoever you please.

I am really looking forward to summer, I always look forward to the season changes because its a fun change.
I get to change my wardrobe from jeans, ugg boots, and sweaters to cute dresses, adorable flip flops and sandals, and my favorite cowboy boots with my cute dresses.
I also get to buy new bathing suites, I have 3 or 4 on my wish list whoever thought one bathing suite for the summer would be enough obviously did not know where to shop for the cutest ones.
I see one and I think "I'll buy this one." I then look at the next page and realize that I like three on that page and I end up having a shopping bag adding up to a weeks worth of pay. Because what are bills anyways?
Also, iced drinks from my love Starbucks, it's an exciting change you go from white cups, to red cups, back to white cups, then one day you realize its time to get a clear up with my yummy iced skinny caramel macchiato.
It's the little things in life that get me by...oh and the expensive things which can be little....like my latest want Kate Spade arm bangles.
I am so excited for spending days by the pool and drinking fruity drinks
Keep Calm and Carry On!

Get your wallets ready...and try not to get too excited!

So for those of you who need reminding I am a lover of all things Kate Spade and it just so happens she is having a 75% off sale.
And if that wasn't enough some of the designs from last season (AHEM) camels are back. 
I have an obsession for all things camel. I have the wallet that is my pride and joy, I love all things camel and the ANCHORS, oh the anchors they finally brought back the ring and holy moly me oh my! It's only $19 and my beloved bangles are only around $20-30. 
I feel like I have been sent to Kate Spade Heaven. 

Keep Calm and Carry On

The Beatles said it best I get by with a little help from my friends.

Monday, May 13, 2013

People are powerful.
As people we have this gift and this almost super power (as I see it) to make someone else's day better, to change someone else's life, or to even make someone cry.
We are basically a creation to do good (though I guess that can be argued, I am not going to go down that road)

Every person we walk past down the street has a story.
They have a past.
They have demons hanging up to never appear again.
They have insecurities.
Each person you walk past has a family.
They have a mother and a father.
They have joy that has come into their life.
Each person you pass has a journey that they are on.
To fulfill their dreams and live their life happily and in peace.

However, we are human we make mistakes, we hit rough patches, and we find little pot holes in the road in which we didn't expect.
And some times we try to make it out alone, we think that we can do it.
That being alone will solve all of the little bumps and bruises that have found their way into your life.
Sometimes we even run away from people because we just want to be alone because we don't know what else to do.

Yet, there are those people, those thick headed, stubborn people who know that you need someone, you need someone to not talk about the issue at hand to not point out how you got into this figurative pot hole.
They just know you need a friend.
Someone to see movies with, someone to stay up late with and talk about silly things like cat videos on YouTube or whether when turtles bring their heads into their shells if their spines buckle or contract (Kurt Vonnegut reference).

What's so great about people is that there are those who come into your life as little gifts.
We don't ask for these gifts but they appear.
Sometimes, people bring light to a situation. Just by being someone's friend.
Because whats so great about people is that no person is the same.

We are all weird, we are all a little strange, and we all have a past.
To judge would make us hypocrites.

Sometimes, people are just little gifts that never fade.
Pretty incredible when you really think about it.

You are someones gift.
"The reason why a seesaw was made for two people is that when you go down, there would always be someone there to lift you up again" -- Ash Sweeney
Keep calm and Carry on

The longer the wait the better the reward

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Patience, it's a trait to be valued.
It is rare to have patience and not have to work on the trait itself.

Recently, I have been struggling with patience with a number of things and the conclusion that I have come to is that all good in life comes with time, never over night...unless you're lucky...in which case, you don't count.

Numerous things in my life right now are causing me to be very impatient.
But, one in particular is this: I started Weight Watchers about seven weeks ago...and I have lost 15.4 pounds as of today! This is obviously something to be celebrated and from an outsider looking in it's great I have lost 15.4 pounds and I have been doing all the right things to learn healthier eating habits and be a healthier me. However, I bought a top to a bathing suit when I first started the program and it looked OK but not great. Now it looks great, however, I recently just bought the bottoms, because when I started the program it looked as though the bottoms were being eaten by me (Granted they are Victoria Secret bottoms so they run a little small) though, that's no excuse. Now I have maybe another 15-20 more pounds to go before I can confidently wear the bathing suit bottoms. And I am thinking, great. What's the use? Or I do for a second anyways then I think about how I am going to feel after I get on the scale at my weekly meetings and I reach my 10% (21 lbs) and I am able to wear things with out spanx and my short dresses will look that much cuter. But, it's this whole waiting thing that's getting me in a rut, I know that by working hard and doing all of the right things that I will be rewarded when I am able to put on my Jcrew Skinny Jeans, and fit into my skinny VS bathing suit bottoms and confidently strut around in my bikini. I know this day will come, I am just waiting and waiting for the day to come.

More hard work is underway, and next week I will be a smaller me than I am today.
That is what keeps me going.
Better to lose than to gain it.

Keep Calm and Carry On