Embrace Your Singleness

Friday, January 31, 2014

Welcome to the 21st century where girls are single for longer periods of time, they are searching for the right one left and right. Grocery stores, gyms, airports, coffee shops (Starbucks), and many other places. I want to start off this post by saying yes, I am in a relationship, and yes he is wonderful and amazing but he has not always been in my life, I haven't been in a relationship since I was born- I have too been single. I have had the lonely nights with Ben and Jerry's, the midnight ranting sessions with my friends, I've been the girl on the I don't need a man train. But what I want to say is something that might take you by surprise, being single is what made me the person I am today in my relationship and as my own person outside of the relationship. Being single is the thing that helped me become a better person. 

There came a point in my life where being single was not a definer of my life (in fact when I met David I wasn't expecting to find my best friend and boyfriend). I basically said to myself that I was a work in progress that I was going to change my life for me. To some my life may have been really boring, I focused more on school than going out and partying, I focused more on what I wanted out of life and what I liked about life instead of letting another person influence my wants and hobbies. I finally said to myself that I was going to embrace being me. 

This wasn't easy, but prior to me being a girl in a relationship romping around taking cute selfies and eating copious amounts of pizza I was figuring out who I was, who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. (I know this must sound cheesy, silly and probably very cliche).  I would sit around thinking about where I wanted to go in life. I made list after list and I sat around some nights with not a single phone call, not a single text from a guy and I never felt lonely or like I was missing a part of me. There came a point during this whole process where I felt whole as a person, I had (and still have) amazing friends, I could go to a restaurant and eat by myself and read a book, I figured out I really don't like music that yells at me, I do in fact prefer the finer things in life and it's okay because I never rarely pay full price anyways. There was a point where I had complete acceptance that my life was exactly where it was meant to be. That everything was coming into place and when the guy who was meant to be in my life appeared then all would be golden and it would still be magical and we would sit in a room together doing nothing and it wouldn't be awkward. 

And I finally found the guy that makes me  have butterflies, even after 7 months (which in the grand scheme of things is not long at all), he accents all of my best features and shows me how to be an even better person. He also knows how to make me laugh in almost any circumstance. 

However, I know so many girls who are so focused on finding mister right, having a valentine (because they must have a date for this one day out of the year regardless of if they even really like them), they are keeping themselves in relationships that they aren't even 100% in because they'd rather have that person then have no one at all. 

So here comes the punch line of this whole post. If you are single, and if you feel like you are miserable and you feel like you aren't complete with out a guy. I challenge you to try new things for you, STOP thinking about mister right and where you will meet him because if you keep looking you may look right over the perfect person for you. So, go try new things for you, do things you wanted to do in a relationship because you can do them and because you want to do them for you. Try learning something new or trying a new hobby. I know that it seems like there is no mister right for you (trust me I know). But there is...because odds are you are fabulous and you just need to find someone that is just as fabulous. But in the meantime learn how to embrace the life you are currently living, learn how to love you because that is honestly the most important part of any relationship. Before you can have a relationship with another person you have to have a relationship with yourself. 

Keep Calm and Carry On