Let's Talk About Forgiveness

Friday, February 14, 2014

I have been dabbling with how I want this post to go, what I want to say in this post, how I want to word this post and so much more. It's been honestly a bit of a struggle of how this was all going to go down here on le blog...but I think I finally figured it out, after tons of thinking and contemplation. 

So here we go. 

Let's talk about forgiveness for a second. I don't know about you but I can have a hard time trusting people when they break my trust. I believe that you have my trust and my benefit of the doubt until you prove me wrong or you openly do something to me that defies my trust or breaks my trust in you, you can guarantee that I will trust you and I will always give you the benefit of the doubt at first (sorry for repeating myself a bit here). The thing with trust though is it can leave in an instant one wrong move, one lie, one mean action ect. it can all change everything. 

I also understand that people mess up, and people fall down (trust me I understand that). But the thing with forgiveness is that you have to have faith that the person is going to change and the person is going to change their actions. And since we can't see in the future you have to forgive and give them the benefit of the doubt even though they have given you no reason for you to give them the benefit of the doubt. 

But what makes forgiveness more important is that you have to rise above, you have to be a better person, and you have to love the person who broke your trust. (and not in the gushy mushy I LOVE YOU MORE THAN CHEESE WAY), but more or less in the way of compassion and love. 

The thing that makes forgiveness so powerful is that if you don't forgive and if you don't move on it isn't hurting anyone but yourself. I promise you the person who has apologized has probably moved on and they are probably under the impression that everything is hunky dory with a side of tater tots. The only person who is living with any type of hurt feelings is the person left to forgive. 

And sometimes when it comes to forgiveness, you don't get an apology, but still you have to forgive because again, the only person that is affected at that point is yourself. Being angry/resentful at someone has never done anyone any good. (trust me). I have found that being hurt is okay, being mad is okay too, and being fearful is okay too. But all of those things should be temporary because again, they are only bringing you down. This person who hurt you, or thing that is affecting you can't define you, your relationship, your life or your outlook on people. You can't always assume the worst in people, unicorns don't let other people affect their lives (because the only person that can truly affect a unicorn's life is the unicorns outlook on their life).

So forgive when you are able to, realize that the trust that you need to have in a person or an event will come in time. Nothing is repaired over night, nothing is fixed with one apology). Because the next step is the changed actions, changed actions are the only thing that can really redefine someones trust in another person. Which means you have to give the person a chance to change their behavior/actions. So be a unicorn and give the person a chance to prove themselves, and if they don't prove themselves at that point the only person they are truly hurting is themselves. 

Be kind. Be passionate.Be a unicorn. And realize that no ones perfect, people mess up, and sometimes they need a second chance to prove that they indeed are trust worthy and someone who deserves your trust. But the first step to allowing them to prove themselves is for you to forgive.

Keep Calm and Carry On 

1 comment:

  1. Forgiveness isn't always easy. I really do struggle with it, but you're so right because unicorns keep their head up and don't let other dumpy horses make them feel bad about themselves!! lol